Life in a Whole New Perspective
March 21, 2011 Leave a comment
Even though at the end of Friday March 11th, I was read to start a good Spring Break, and a worry free long weekend, I wasn’t expecting to start my Spring Break in the way that happened.
On Saturday March 12th, my boyfriend and I were driving out to look at a new car for myself when I missed my turn for I-45. Not really feeling like taking the highway system into Houston, Texas, I continued down Antione Dr. towards Downtown Houston.
Not really paying attention to the light, I saw a motorcycle and its resulting crash. I’m not going to go over everything I saw, since I’m a witness, I am still bound to not talk about what happened until I’m given the green from the cop, which should be any day now, but you never know. All I can really tell you was that he was indeed in full motorcycle gear.
Anyway, this event really effected me in a way, one as a future motorcycle owner, after what happened I have given up on every owning a motorcycle, even my boyfriend who is a motorcycle fiend swore off motorcycles. Another was the fact that both my boyfriend and I were the first people on the scene, called the cops, and parked my van in a way to block traffic and have them move away from the accident so first response could get to the accident quicker. We even started checking for a pulse (which was very faint) and making sure he was responsive while on the phone with 911 (we were actually underneath an overpass when we saw the accident, a good distance away, probably a good hundred yards away when we called 911). I didn’t even think I would have that in me to do something like that, to be able to keep cool under pressure and do the right thing. I always saw myself as a chicken, running away from everything, but hey, I do have guts! The last way it effected me was that I saw a man’s life end. He did not survive, it hurt because my boyfriend and I tried to help this man, by calling 911, getting traffic to move, and making sure he had a pulse was ensuring his survival, but from look at his wounds, where he was laying and the objects he hit, you knew he was in bad shape, but we tried to get him help as fast as we could.
This event also brought me a new disgust to human nature. I know we are all perverted in the way we HAVE to turn our necks and view a wreckage that had just happened, it is in our nature to be curious, it gives us a sense of self confidence that yes, we are better drivers than these other people, but while my boyfriend and I were trying to make sure this guy was in good hands, people were taking videos, bringing their children out to see the wreckage, taking pictures, and laughing at him! I just wanted to scream that if you had seen the wreck first hand, you would NOT be laughing or figuring that you’re lucky that you do not own a motorcycle. For the better part of an hour and a half, we had to watch the EMT’s work on this poor man to no avail.
Its strange to be present at someone’s last few moments at life. For my entire life I lived with the idea that each of us has a stopwatch, and this stop watch chronicle’s our entire life’s presence on earth. And for me, I viewed this man’s stopwatch, feeling this strange awe of the moment, and the sadness that no matter how hard my boyfriend and I tried to save this man’s life, he was not able to be saved.
I can’t really explain my emotions fully, I feel this sense of horrible, awe, fear, grief, and no emotions at all. I guess I just don’t want to feel in any way shape or form, and that makes me feel subsequently guilty. Guilty for the entire situation and the fact that I could not give him the help he needed.
I’m sorry for this post, it was something that I needed to tell, with in the concept of the courts until everything is situated. For now, the officer told me I can post the news article here and once the court gives the ok, I can go into a more in depth look at what I saw.
The following is from The Houston Chronicle, Monday March, 14th, 2011:
With a numb regard,
The Oracle of Dreams